Somebody told me today, that humans are the only species that build squares. He was referring to our habit of organizing our physical sphere into a series of rectangular shapes. And it makes sense. When packing a square truck, you maximize the effective use of space by packing it full of squares. When you create a plot of land to farm or build on, there are many reasons why it makes sense to make it a square. And since the things we have in our house usually get there by being packed into a square truck and driven to an often square building, the things we use are very often squares too. This gives us a very square centric view of the world.
But when I look outside through my window (also a square) I see that there is one major thing in our life that has an entirely unique shape. And that’s us. People. I don’t have a name for whatever shape we are, but square is not it. And still, we frequently insist on treating our loved ones as if they were. This makes sense in the workplace. Work is definitely at least rectangular. Meetings all fit neatly into your workday, as blocks in your agenda. And every meeting has a clear start and a clear end. Usually, the end of one is dangerously close to the beginning of the next one, so the boxes can be packed very tightly.
But our loved ones are not squares. I like to see them as circles. Spheres, if you will. Now, some people wouldn’t like it if I called them a sphere to their face, but I assure you I mean it purely as an analogy. So we shouldn’t stack them as if they were boxes because they’re not. It’s easy to decide the shape of a meeting, but what is the shape of that first sip of coffee with a friend you made on vacation years ago? What is the shape of locking eyes with somebody as the music in the bar seems muffled because all you hear is that they want to stay for another drink? What is the shape of the tears your friend sheds as they tell you their dog passed away?
When we try to treat our loved ones as squares, or as meetings, we pack them too tight. We lose out on the playful chaos that comes from trying to stack some bouncy balls into a space. You can’t maximize space as well with spheres, so you just pack in as many as can comfortably fit. And no matter how you pack a set of spheres, there will always be space in between them. As there should be.
Thank you for your time.